just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Randomize
