Christians are straight up FREAKS
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
soo... how was my night?
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
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