are you still at the devil's house?
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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