I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
