Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize