Midget sex pt 2 tonight
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Randomize
