I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
