So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Hippo gnu deer
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Randomize
