You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Randomize
