They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Randomize
