Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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