He asked to "fluff my boner.."
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Randomize
