you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
