Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
