they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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