she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
