i always forget guys have bellybuttons
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
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