How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
