and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
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