Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Randomize
