I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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