i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Randomize
