And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
My life is pants optional.
Randomize
