Three words: puerto rican gang bang
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Randomize
