in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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