I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize