Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
