he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Couch. On fire.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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