doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
there is glitter all over my balls
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
