I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
You're a waste of cheezeits
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Randomize
