I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
