I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
smell my finger.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
