I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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