Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
