Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Randomize
