Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
look no pants
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
whose ass print is on the piano?
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
