Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
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