It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
