Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
