they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
