Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
