...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
