goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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