soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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