I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Randomize
