You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
