I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
