The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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