we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
