Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Randomize
