a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
