I am puke
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
