I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
