he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Randomize
