I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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