Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
