Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
You left your phone here
Wait...
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